im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
