Where is the hickey?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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