If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize