Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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