Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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