You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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