Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
