i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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