why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
