And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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