dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
