well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
honey bunches of taint.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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