Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
