hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
