I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
