We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When are your genitals available?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
