Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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