Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
