But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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