you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize