woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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