There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Randomize
