ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
