You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
40s are totally the cure
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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