thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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