My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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