I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
