he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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