Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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