Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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