I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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