i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize