How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
