You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
