i permit you to call me
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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