Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the day after is always just damage control
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
