So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
