ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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