you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
