I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
