2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
