Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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