Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
