Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
