the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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