is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
