Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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