you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
