the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
