you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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