let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They took my balls.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
