Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
