like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
