my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
