Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
