Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
