just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
