we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize