My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
