im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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