guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wish you could order shots online.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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