He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
